


Failing to realize

by Azzazel



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abuse, Angst, F/M, M/M, Russiaisajerktosummitallup, Soviet Union, butthisisstillheavystuff, iwilladmoretags, lietpol, mention of rape, mentionofselfharm, onlymentioonthough
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-20 16:32:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19380523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azzazel/pseuds/Azzazel
Summary: How will Sara (my ofc) deal watching the men she loves dating everyone possible and failing to realize that she is in love with him and is very much aprochable





	Failing to realize

Tolys Laurinaitis, Eduard von Bock, Raivis Galante, Sara Ady. Four names, four people who shared the same awful fate. They were the housekeepers in a big house called Soviet Union. The four of them shopped, cooked, cleaned, washed, kept the fire alive while Ivan and Natalia ruled over them.

Sara was a positive person, every time one of the boys complained about their position in this house, she sad that she is happy that at least Katyusha is nice, she could be the tyrant her siblings are with ease, but she is not.

At least she told this to others, with a huge fake smile. Beacouse if she stops smiling in this house who will?

 

Crash.

 

A scared gasp. Tolys’ gasp, Sara blushed, than scolded herself for being so immature, she couldn’t allow herself a crush, she had too much job for that.

 

Slow, scarily slow and big steps.

 

Apologies, unnecessary apologies. Tolys’ punishment is unavoidable by now. She hears the sound of Ivan’s voice, eager to punish his _favourite_ servant.

Sara knows those punishments and her stomach is turned by the cruelty of the men she must serve. How couldn’t she know the punishment, she is the one to aid Tolys’ scars after these times, she is the one who stays up late at night listening to his uncoherent babbling while he cries on her shoulder and she is the one who holds him until he falls asleep. She is the one who really loves him, and when she thinks of all the twisted things, he does with the men who is so close to her heart, she fills with an unbearable amount of rage.

If she could she would murder that twisted, crazy sadist with her own hands. But she is a smart girl, she knows how she must act nice to that man, because she will not be the one who suffers her acts.

the knowledge of being unable to do anything, to protect the three boys who have been there for her in her whole life, her love. she gets even madder. She is mad at Ivan for hurting them, she is mad at herself for not being able to protect them, she is mad at Natalia for being crazy and sadistic, she is mad at Katyusha for simply existing. Tears drop on the floor, soon followed by a broom that was in use moments ago, before the crash she heard.

Sara’s nails were soon on her arms, cutting deep in, tearing her white shirt and colouring it an intense dark shade of red.

‘I’m pathetic, why can’t I do something?’ and the frustrating knowledge of being unable to help the other nations just made Sara feel worse, her nails finding their ways back to her arms, scratching their ways over the already blood patterned shirt.

‘screw it, this ain’t gonna help anyone’ she thought, knowing that being cruelly rational with herself is the best thing she can do. So she pushed away everything she felt. (not wanting to admit it even to herself that the pouring blood indeed were calming) ‘if I do this it’s not going to help Tolys so I will get my shit together, finish brooming and bring water, towels and a first aid kit to my room so I will be able to take care of his wounds, _this_ will help him, not me hurting myself.’

“Screw Ivan, what would help him is not being punished in the first place.” she mumbled to herself. Picking up the broom and going on with her job, now with the knowledge of an upcoming night without sleep.

 

_This is how an average day looked like in the big house known by most as the **Soviet Union.**_

\-----

All the work has been finished for Sara today and she is in her tiny-winey bedroom with the rest of the house long asleep. she heard three feather-light knocks, afraid to wake her up, afraid to wake the house up, afraid to break the silence in the monstrously enormous house.

She got up and hurried to the door. She’s been waiting for Tolys to come to her. He always comes after his punishments.

 

He is in an _awful_ state.

 

 

His brown hair which is usually in a neat ponytail is now messy and stick to his tear wettened cheeks.

His mesmerizing green eyes are now red and puffy still filled with tears.

His usual smile is now bloody from biting on his lips to endure the pain.

He is usually neatly dressed but now, his shirt is ripped, he has no pants on, his underwear also ripped.

His usual happiness is now changed for a desperation for help, for Sara’s help. And the girl is there for him ready to aid his wounds and hold him for the night just like every other time.

She knows how to heal whip wounds by heart. She could do it blindfolded and with time limit. and this skill of hers just adds to the frustration Sara already has because she can’t help the others, can’t stand up against the tyranny, can’t change how things work, can’t improve the Soviet Union.

But she says nothing. There is nothing to say, nothing to do. So, Sara quietly brought warm water in the bowl. Cleared Tolys’ back from the blood, cleared the wounds, bandaged his back, and gave him painkillers.

Doing all this with the preciseness of a surgeon. The difference is that a surgeon learns, and Sara only practiced.

“Ačiū, Ačiū, Ačiū, Ačiū, Ačiū” Tolys thanked her like a prayer to the goddess who just healed him.

This action could be considered cute, but it’s sadder than you would first think, because there is one thing Tolys failed to realise as he fell asleep next to Sara, hiding his face in the crock of her neck, and gripping tightly into her T-shirt, and it’s that

_Sara was way more attainable than a goddess who would need prayers for her acts._

And Tolys will fail to realize this several more times in the future, but don’t jump ahead so fast.

 

_This is how a usual night looked like int the big hose known to most as the **Soviet Union.**_

**Author's Note:**

> Should I follow or is this too dark?


End file.
